Darling, You’re Not Broken
Darling, You’re Not Broken
But my heart is broken. How the heck do you expect me to get up and smile every day?
Maybe your heart feels broken. Chances are at some level, it does. Whether it’s because Dad was a selfish alcoholic growing up, or you never felt like you fit in, or that dreamy guy ripped your heart out of your chest, held it for a moment, and then threw it to the ground.
And it sucks. It really does.
But the reality is that your heart is NOT broken. Sure, it may be bruised. It may have a thousand scratches. It may be pleading, aching, and very tired, but it’s alive. It’s working. It’s beating your “life” moment by moment underneath your radar.
You may “feel” broken, but I’m here to tell you that you’re not.
Now, pain. That’s a different story. You feel pain. We all do to some degree. Even on the happiest days there’s something deep inside that vies for our attention, and it feels a lot like pain. You wonder about a lot of things, including how to overcome depression.
But that pain, (any degree) does not have to define who you are. That pain does not have to dictate how you live your life.
Sure, it may feel stronger on some days, and some days you may feel the need to stay in your PJ’s and binge watch Netflix. And if that’s the case, go right ahead. Give yourself permission to do so.
But don’t stay there.
Honey, hear me right now. The pain can be recycled. The source of that pain can be transformed into something that will help you feel stronger. And more at peace.
Good question. It’s likely different for each person and/or situation. It’s an individual journey kind of thing. I can’t tell you exactly what that will look like for you, but I can share what helps me. And, I can offer to be the sounding board for your very real struggles. Because we need each other in our painful times.
There are various paths to “pain recovery” so-to-speak. Get busy navigating yours. Try different routes, praising the powers-that-BE for any progress made! I’ve done some “inner work” over the years, but I feel I’ve only scratched the surface.
I still have some “work” to do. Still have some underlying emotional numbness at times. Some days I just feel sad for no apparent reason. I still get overly frustrated. Guilt-ridden. Shameful. Prideful. Some days I could put it out there that “I’m broken”, but I refuse to do that.
I’m not broken. And neither are you.
Let’s keep healing, one by one – and, as the collective. Let’s continue rooting for each other, doing what we know to do to grow on all levels. Personal development, spiritual development, relational development, emotional development, physical development.
Let’s do it one day at a time, being gentle with ourselves and with each other. Trust in life’s “waking up” process. Trust that your heart knows what to do, no matter how it’s feeling.
Trust that pain does not have to bring you to a halt. And, dear one, trust that you are worthy of having some pretty darn amazing experiences here on planet Earth!
We all are!
Sending big love your way!
Dominica Applegate is an author, writer, and transpersonal spiritual teacher. Her teachings have helped millions of people experience emotional healing, relationship repair, and spiritual awakening. Earning her BA in Psychology and MA in Counseling, she worked 12 years in the mental health field before diving full-time into writing.
She runs Rediscovering Sacredness, an online portal that offers inspiration, essays, resources, and tools to help heal inner pain and experience more peace and joy.
Her books include Recycle Your Pain: It Has a Purpose, Into The Wild Shadow Work Journal, and a collection of poetry entitled, The Pain, It Shapes Her World.