5 Books to Help You Develop A Beautiful, Conscious Relationship

5 Books to Help You Develop A Beautiful,
Conscious Relationship


If you’re truly after more loving, conscious relationships, you may want to take time regularly to read some enlightening books on the topic. You’d be surprised at how the information you find can help you now and in the future.

We know for ourselves, reading became our “go-to” for comfort and hope, especially in the category of conscious love. Coupled with professional counseling when needed, learning from others who’ve “been there, done that” helped us tremendously.

Not everyone is a reader – we get that. But for those of you who are, the following books will help you learn more about yourself, others, relationships, and love in general. And, of course, these are but a small number of the many wonderful books available.

Listen, no one’s going to zoom in and rescue you. Whether you’re 18 or 70, some things you just have to work out on your own in life. And, by this, we mean growing up in your emotional and relationship relating. Yes, therapy helps, and so does investing time in reading some super good books on the topic of conscious love.

There will always be opportunity for growth on all levels when it comes to conscious relationships. Kudos to you for being willing to learn, grow, and be the best version of you as you walk this planet.

Check out the following conscious love books to learn:

  • How you can cultivate more loving, conscious relationships with yourself and others.
  • How you can heal childhood wounds that could be kicking your relationship butt.
  • How to navigate boundaries in all kinds of relationships.
  • How to communicate – yes, like actually communicate in an honest and heartfelt way with your partner/peeps.
  • Better conflict resolution skills.
  • What codependency is and how you can overcome or manage it.
  • Inner child healing/shadow work
  • What a conscious, spiritual relationship looks and feels like
  • What’s holding you back in relationships
  • Why you keep repeating the same ole’, same ole’ when it comes to relationships. (Same crap, different person)
  • What conscious partnership means and how you can enjoy that!


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1. Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment by Gay & Kathlyn Hendricks

This is a must-read to grow in conscious love. Learn how to get free from subconscious agreement patterns that don’t serve you well, cultivate vibrant, creative, and happier relationships, ditch power struggles, increase intimacy, speak your truth, heal old hurts, and so much more.

““A close relationship is a powerful light force, and like any strong light it casts a large shadow. When you stand in the light of a close relationship, you must learn to deal with the shadow.”
― Gay Hendricks


2.  The Wisdom Way of Knowing: Reclaiming An Ancient Tradition to Awaken the Heart  by Cynthia Bourgeault  

Cynthia Bourgeault is one of our favorite authors. She’s an Episcopal priest, retreat leader, and teaches a great deal on prayer and the spiritual life. This book is EXCELLENT.  She used Wisdom traditions from an interfaith perspective to help readers surrender and open to a deep love that arises from the inside, and from the Source, or God.

If you want to begin to love deeper, yourself and others, you’ll get a lot from this book that can help.

“. . .in any situation in life, confronted by an outer threat or opportunity, you can notice yourself responding inwardly in one of two ways. Either you will brace, harden and resist, or you will soften, open, and yield. If you go with the former gesture, you will be catapulted immediately into your smaller self, with its animal instincts and survival responses. If you stay with the latter regardless of the outer conditions, you will remain in alignment with your innermost being, and through it, divine being can reach you. Spiritual practice at its no-frills simplest is a moment-by-moment learning not to do anything in a state of internal brace.”


3. Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love 

conscious love relationshipsHere’s a great book where you can learn about your attachment styles. (And, your partner’s!) Knowing your style can help you understand yourself and your relationships better and go from there.

The three main styles are Secure, Anxious, and Avoidant.

Consider this book a crash course in Attachment theory and the answer to the common question, “What’s their deal?” Or, “Why am I like this in relationships?”

Good news is that whether you show up anxious or avoidant, you can work toward a more secure attachment style by doing your inner healing work.


4. How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving by David Richo

“Most people think of love as a feeling,” says David Richo, “but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present.”

In this book, Richo focuses not on finding an ideal mate, but on becoming a more loving person. Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life:

1.  Attention to the present moment; observing, listening, and noticing all the feelings at play in our relationships.
2.  Acceptance of ourselves and others just as we are.
3.  Appreciation of all our gifts, our limits, our longings, and our poignant human predicament.
4.  Affection shown through holding and touching in respectful ways.
5.  Allowing life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without trying to take control.


5.  The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm

Here is a modern classic that gives you a detailed guide to love – an achievement reached through maturity, practice, concentration, and courage. Erich Fromm is a celebrated psychoanalyst and social psychologist that wanted everyone to develop the capacity and understanding of love in all its facets.

A challenge to traditional Western notions of love, The Art of Loving is a modern classic about taking care of ourselves through relationships with others.

“Love is not primarily a relationship to a specific person; it is an attitude, an orientation of character which determines the relatedness of a person to the world as a whole, not toward one “object” of love. If a person loves only one other person and is indifferent to the rest of his fellow men, his love is not love but a symbiotic attachment, or an enlarged egotism. Yet, most people believe that love is constituted by the object, not by the faculty.”

Ready to take a walk on the wild, shadow side?

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